


Let Me

by fireroasted



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Romance, Uber Driver Karolina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 05:11:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20688050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireroasted/pseuds/fireroasted
Summary: Growing up with an overbearing mother lording over their clinically perfect family, all Nico wants—has ever wanted—in life is to have a moment where she can be in total control of her life and her body. Being born an Omega isn’t exactly ideal for her complex.Accidentally getting into a car with a very attractive Alpha doesn't help either.





	Let Me

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: a lot of sex--one scene can be construed to be non-consensual given the circumstances (aka pheromones), but feelings are explored and discussed. Mild choking, light (and somewhat ineffective) bondage, and a strap-on also appears. It's a sweet story, I swear.

Nico hates this time of the month. This damn cycle of losing control and craving something so _desperately_ that she can’t even recognize herself. 

Growing up with an overbearing mother lording over their clinically perfect family, all Nico wants—has ever wanted—in life is to have a _moment_ where she can be in total control of her life and her body. So, of course, being born an Omega isn’t exactly ideal for her complex. 

So fearful of giving herself up to strangers, she used to shut herself away during the most intense of her heat cycles and resign herself to her suffering. Those were long and painful nights, and as soon as she realized how much easier it is to allow other humans to take her pain away, she stopped hesitating. She learned to calculate these encounters and learned to find her outlets. She likes Betas. Betas are safe. Pliable. And there are enough of them that she’d never have to suffer. More importantly, Betas allow her to maintain some semblance of control, even if many of them underestimate the intense need of Omegas. Better a wet blanket, Nico thinks, than enslaved to some asshole Alpha. Borderline satisfied with her dignity intact—it really could be worse.

The feeling of being around an Alpha is the absolute _worst_. She hates the utter betrayal of her own body—the way she wants to throw herself at their scent and tear off her own clothes at their feet. It’s always a battle between instinct and reason, so Nico, war-worn after all these years, avoids all Alphas like the plague. She’s not a coward—just smart.

Besides, it’s easy when, in all her years, she’s never met an alpha she didn’t _want_ to actively avoid—they are all so _eager _to assert their dominance, so simple, and so _willing_ to delve into raw, aggressive instinct. Mostly athletic, selfish, or power-hungry types who’d never respect or understand her anyway. 

No, thank you. No matter how many stories she hears about the brain-busting, toe-curling, Nirvanic rewards of submitting to a big, strong Alpha, Nico isn’t about to give up the strength and independence she worked so hard for. 

Tonight isn’t going to be an exception. 

Tonight is a typical middle-of-the-month routine—Nico is standing at the curb, glaring at her ride-share app. Unfortunately, it’s Friday night, and everyone is out. She’s already been waiting fifteen minutes for a match. The sight isn’t exactly unusual, just a young college student dressed to party in black military boots and a little black dress to compliment the choker. Yet, Nico crosses her arms across her chest, feeling anxious and, more importantly, vulnerable as hell. She knows, realistically of course, that nobody will look twice, but as the heat builds up inside her, she feels as if everyone in a hundred-mile vicinity can sense her slowly unravelling. She knows she has to get off the curb and get the hell out before her scent starts attracting nearby Alphas. And at this hour, there probably aren’t going to be any nice ones who will leave her alone.

Sure, she could find somebody on campus who can do the job, but she doesn’t like to get tangled up with anybody she’d likely see again on Monday. She especially hates the idea of her peers seeing both sides of her and realize that whatever image of aloofness is just a cover up for the pathetic and desperate part of her. If she could quash the Omega out, she would—in a heartbeat—but who would ever stay and ask once they’ve seen her in that state?

So, for the last three years, she developed a solution in the form of a semi-seedy club downtown full of potential Betas. It’s always the same deal: fuck a stranger and get the hell out once she can feel like herself again. Easy. The cleanish bathroom stalls with surprisingly lovely messages scrawled on the walls with faded Sharpie are certainly a plus.

She isn’t too picky at this time of the month—she just needs to get through the heat. Nico glances at the time—there’s a good chance she can hold on for several more hours. The venue is only forty minutes away, but she _needs_ to get herself sorted before she descends into leaping onto the next unsuspecting stranger on the street. 

Finally, a match. 

Karolina Dean. 

She recognizes the name and heaves a sigh of relief. 

Another omega, Nico thinks. An annoying one, but an Omega nonetheless. She and Karolina share a couple of classes together, and though they’ve never exchanged more than a couple words, Nico is almost sure she’s an Omega. Karolina is demure and reserved in a way that grinds Nico’s gears. It’s as if she’s hiding behind a mask. As if she isn’t prone to begging for a fuck every month like everyone else. She doesn’t trust her, especially given how many times a week she catches Karolina staring at her, probing and challenging and constantly assessing. 

Nico can’t stand it. The last thing she needs in her life is some gorgeous, blonde, dewy-eyed Amazon scrutinizing her every move. It stands to reason, then, the Karolina is either a very annoying Beta trying to sabotage her for some shit she probably did and forgot about, or a very territorial omega. Either way, she’ll do for tonight. Annoying as she is, Nico is pretty sure she’ll get her to the party because she’s a goody-two-shoes, stick-up-the-ass, textbook people-pleaser, and won’t fuck with her routine.

In other words, no distractions. 

Nico doesn’t cancel the ride. 

A white Prius pulls up five minutes later, and the driver’s side window is rolled down. Karolina pokes her head out, tanned and still gorgeous somehow in just a pale, yellow T-shirt and probably jean shorts. She’s never _not_ worn jeans to class, not that Nico particularly notices or cares. 

Nico rolls her eyes and opens the backseat door before Karolina can speak. After hours spent coordinating her makeup and outfit, she just wants to punch people like Karolina Dean. All she has to do is breathe, and she’d get _her_ needs taken care of in a second by hundreds of willing volunteers. Probably. Assuming perfect people like her even has to abide by nature’s tyrannical rules. 

She slides inside, doesn’t care if her dress is riding up, and meets Karolina’s eyes through the mirror. Karolina simply watches her for a long moment, focused and intense—less probing; more predatory—in a way that certainly doesn’t help the way her body is already beginning to betray her. She distracts herself by buckling her seatbelt—when she looks up, she’s still watching. 

“What are you looking at?” Nico snaps loud enough to break Karolina out of whatever state she seems to be in. 

“Sorry,” Karolina mumbles. She clears her throat, and pulls out onto the road. 

Forty more minutes. 

But, of course, the universe always finds a way to mess with her when it’s least convenient. 

They’re barely out of campus when something starts to feel incredibly wrong. Nico had estimated three hours before the symptoms start kicking in: the full unravelling of her conscious mind, the need to wrap herself around another body until she’s screaming unintelligible incantations into the night. Except…

There is something about this car, a thick scent she doesn’t recognize—she grips the seatbelt until her knuckles are white. Her breathing is loud to her own ears, like she is suddenly sucked into a vacuum. Something is happening, and she doesn’t like it. 

She meets Karolina’s eyes through the mirror again. They’re darker now. The hands on the steering wheel are also gripped tight. 

“Hey. It’s Karolina, right?”

Nico doesn’t miss the visible shiver. 

“Y-yes?” Her voice is dripping with nerves. 

Oh no. It couldn’t be. 

“Please don’t fucking tell me you’re an Alpha.”

Karolina swallows, keeps her eyes purposefully on the road. “Yes, um, I..I am, and I’m sorry, I didn’t know—”

“Stop the car. Right now.”

Nico can barely breathe. 

“Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Karolina replies shakily. Nico looks around—of course, they’re in the middle of nowhere. There are empty cars and faraway estates lined with hedges on the main road. Not a soul in sight. On the other hand, there is another thirty minutes inside this car, and every minute feels like a damn hour, which means she has about three minutes before she completely loses it.

Nico takes a deep breath to try and calm herself. What hits her instead is a noseful of Alpha musk that shoots a bolt of flame right to her core. Desperately, she rolls down the window, but it’s too little, too late. Simple breathing exercises aren’t going to work. The more her body responds, the thicker the scent seems to become. 

She glares into the mirror. “Stop the fucking car, or I’m going to roll out the door, and if I die, I’m going to haunt your fucking dreams for the rest of your life.”

“Okay, okay.” 

Karolina pulls into an empty space along the road and, before the car fully stops, Nico barrels out the door, gasping fresh breaths of air as far away from the white Prius as her weakened legs will allow. 

Karolina steps out of the car, and makes a move to calm her down, but Nico, several feet away, snarls, “Stay away from me!” 

Karolina flinches. 

Nico stumbles back further, clutching her arms against herself, glaring. It’s getting hot. Too hot—her mind swimming by now like she’s had too much to drink. “Get in your car and drive away,” she demands. “Right now.” 

“I-I can’t do that, Nico,” Karolina says, her hand gripping the top of her car door as if she were holding on for dear life. “It’s dangerous out here. E-especially in this state.”

Nico barks out a laugh, loud, disparaging, and almost unhinged. “Let’s not pretend you’re any different just because you’re a...some kind of a hot church girl. You’re an Alpha and I don’t trust Alphas. Especially lying Alphas.”

“I didn’t lie,” Karolina sighs, “I’m just…not a very good Alpha, so you have a better chance with me than a random person walking the street. I-I won’t do anything, Nico, just—let me wait with you until you get another ride. I’ll stay within sight. Is there anybody you can call? Anybody who can, um, help?” 

Nico ducks down and hugs her knees, squeezing her eyes shut so she doesn’t have to look at Karolina. Her phone is slippery in her clammy hands—she can barely remember her lock screen password, and that’s when it hits her. 

She isn’t going to make it. 

There’s only one option. 

She opens her eyes and stares at Karolina, her heart beating way too fast and her entire body way too warm. She imagines Karolina’s hands on her; Karolina’s plush lips searing her skin as she bends her over the hood of her car—

Nico stands and saunters toward her. “This is your fault,” she says, her voice dropping into a near growl, “and you’re going to fix it.”

“N-Nico?” Karolina says, backing away. She averts her eyes to the sky, hands shaking. “Oh God, this is bad. G-get in the car, Nico—I’ll take you back to your dorm. Is there _anybody_ you can call? Someone you trust?” 

Karolina scrambles to get back into the car, but it’s too late when Nico pounces, pushing Karolina uncomfortably across both seats in the front as she climbs on top of her. She grinds down on her bare knee, and Karolina groans—she can feel the hot, wet heat through her thin underwear, her dress by now hiked almost all the way up. Karolina tries to get up, tries to push back, but Nico pins her down with a kiss to her neck, canines scraping against her skin. 

No. 

No. 

She can’t. 

A selfish thought flashes across her mind: she’s waited too long for it to fall apart like this. 

Karolina grabs her by the back of her dress and pulls her back—Nico’s eyes are dark, almost feral with her lips parted, panting, and her chest heaving.

Her lips twist into a wicked grin. “What are you waiting for? Take responsibility and make me yours.”

Karolina’s throat turns dry. 

“I-I won’t,” she croaks. “Not like this.” With the last of her waning strength, Karolina fights against the blinding pheromones and pushes her back, flinching when Nico bumps her head on the ceiling. 

“Ow!” she cries, rubbing the top of her head. 

It’s all the distraction Karolina needs to tackle her out of the car. 

“What the hell?” Nico cries, thrashing against Karolina’s surprisingly strong arms as she pins her by the shoulder to the passenger side door at arm's length. Ignoring her, she then pushes her back into the driver’s seat and closes the door. It buys her exactly the five seconds she needs to run to her trunk and grab a blanket and a bungee cord. 

Nico stumbles back out, fuming. “I swear to God, if you don’t fuck me right now, Karolina, I’m going to fucking kill you.” 

Karolina leaps forward with the blanket and multiple mumbled apologies, and makes quick work of wrapping her up, trying her best to ignore the fogginess in her brain and the expletives spilling from Nico’s mouth. Tries her best not to visualize every detail as she wraps the bungee cord around her until it’s snug.

“I’m really sorry, Nico,” Karolina says, dropping Nico into the backseat as gently as the writing woman would allow. “It’s going to be a really bad night for both of us, trust me, but it’s better this way.”

She then slips back into the driver’s seat, taking a moment to breathe deeply and ignore the burning ache between her legs and the nonsense Nico is spitting out from the back. She quickly checks her glove compartment for something to stuff her mouth with, and groans when she comes up empty. Finally, she turns back to her very squirmy and very angry captive. “I’m going to take you back to your dorm now, okay?”

“Fuck you, Karolina, don’t tell me what’s ‘better’,” Nico seethed, “I don’t need you to take me back. I _need_ you to ram your fucking—”

“_Please_ don’t finish that sentence, Nico. I beg you.” While she still has a thread of sobriety, Karolina quickly starts the car, and pulls out onto the main street. She ignores the rustling in the back.

“I _need_ you,” Nico whines. 

“You don’t even know me,” Karolina responds quietly. 

They’re on the road for barely two minutes when three things happen so fast that it’s almost simultaneous. First, a loud _fwump! _

Second, “Ow, fuck” in the back seat. 

Third, Karolina swerves the car as a hand grabs her seat. She veers into a slight right, slamming on the brakes when Nico squeezes herself through the two front seats. “Oh my god, Nico, how did you—stop pulling at me! You’ll get us both killed!” 

Nico grabs her by the shoulder and leans in, running a tongue all the way along the shape of Karolina’s jaw. “Then you better do something about it,” she purrs, the anger in her voice mere minutes ago transforming into something unbearably worse. It takes Karolina strength she didn’t know she had to keep herself from whimpering. By some miracle, she pulls safely into a secluded dirt road. 

Her eyes swim—it’s all too much.

This is very, very bad.

Karolina just manages to pull the key out of the ignition when Nico is suddenly in her lap, straddling her hips with fistfuls of pale yellow in her hands. She’s losing her mind, barely able to register Nico’s wild eyes boring into her like she’s her last meal on Earth, but still she tosses her key into the cup holder and locks the car—they aren’t going to escape each other tonight anyway. 

Immediately, Nico tests that last shred of rationality when she grinds down against the hard seam of Karolina’s jean shorts and crushes her lips against hers. Her tongue doesn’t ask—Nico invades with the fervour of a thousand armies. She bites, she nips, she claws. Her hips jerk against Karolina’s in the cramped space, desperate for contact. 

Karolina pushes her back with shaking arms. Nico tugs at her shirt, whimpering at the loss of contact. “Nico,” she said, breathing heavily, “I know you can’t hear me anymore, but I...I really like you, and I don’t want you to regret this tomorrow. Maybe you’ll forget all of this happened, but I won’t. Whatever happens tonight, I hope you’ll forgive me.”

For a moment, Nico blinks at her in what seems to be a moment of clarity, but as soon as Karolina’s strength wanes, she jumps forward—Karolina barely has time to pull the lever and drop the seat down, when Nico crawls up on her, straddling her waist. She sits up, doesn’t attack her. By now, her dress has hiked up to her waist and Karolina can’t take her eyes off the black lace. She has half a mind to cover her nose at the intensity of her scent, but Nico grabs her wrist halfway. 

“Karolina,” Nico murmurs, chest heaving. She leads her hand to her center, and Karolina’s resistance crumbles in a second when the pad of her finger brushes against the thoroughly damp cloth and Nico hisses. 

Suddenly, her senses hone in on the earlier stickiness on her thigh, the hardness of her clit beneath her touch, the scent of raw desire intermingling, and the harmony of Nico’s uninhibited whimpers as she rocks her hips recklessly against her. 

Karolina’s blood rushes. Her heart seems to stop, and something inside her—as if suddenly tuned into the frequency of Nico’s heat—snaps. 

Nico freezes at the sound of a low growl and the sight of a bared canine. 

In that short window, Karolina breaks out of Nico’s grip and manages to flip her over, pinning her down with one hand, pushes the seat all the way back, and rips off her underwear with her other. One knee digs into the seat, the wheel pressing against her back—there’s barely enough space, but neither notices the bumps and bruises. Nico writhes beneath her, nearly standing on the seat as Karolina reaches down. She takes her bottom lip between her teeth and two fingers between her folds, tearing a strangled moan from Nico’s throat. 

She immediately wraps her legs around Karolina’s waist, and arms around her neck, locking her in place as she takes it all in. Instinct possesses them both entirely, and she doesn’t have to beg for Karolina to comply, filling her up and pushing in and out of her like she was born to do nothing else. 

Nico grinds against her punishing rhythm, clawing at her back for more. 

It takes thirty more minutes of pumping, biting, kneading, clawing, and elbow-bruising, but when relief finally comes to Nico, her toes curl inside her boots and the windows seem to rattle as the force of her orgasm threatens to tear her apart. 

Within moments, Nico is gone. 

Karolina collapses on top of her.

When Karolina wakes, the sky is darker now. It takes a long moment for her to find feeling in her limbs, and when she does, her body is screaming at her. She groans and tries to push herself up from her face-down position when she suddenly realizes there’s something soft beneath her.

She shoots up and bumps her head on the ceiling when reality hits her, but the sight of Nico laying before her trumps all other pain.

“Oh God, oh God,” Karolina murmurs as she gently pulls out of her. She quickly wipes her hand on her jeans, then checks Nico’s breathing. Passed out. Thank God. 

Adrenaline keeps her running long enough to untangle herself from Nico and stumble out of the car, but it takes many, many deep breaths to keep her from screaming. Karolina presses her hands to her face as she stands outside to avoid looking at Nico’s slumped body in the driver’s seat, guilt and panic crashing down. 

What the hell did she _do_?

Suddenly, her limbs feel incredibly sore, as if to remind her exactly what she’d done. 

“This is just a nightmare,” she tells herself. “I’m going to wake up, and I’ll be at home in my pajamas and none of this will have happened. Just a nightmare. Just a nightmare.” 

She closes her eyes, then opens them. The wind rustles through the trees beside her, as if mocking her. She groans and kicks at the gravel beneath her feet. The way the rocks fly off into the trees isn’t much consolation. 

Finally, she exhales deeply. “Time to face the music, Karolina,” she mutters, footsteps crunching and heart pounding as she trudges toward the open door. 

“Oh God,” Karolina whispers as her gaze falls on Nico’s sleeping face. Her heart clenches—the timing is all wrong but she’s just so beautiful in the low light. 

With shaking fingers, she pulls Nico’s dress down. She then scoops her up and lifts her out of the car—it takes an incredible amount of self control to tune everything out and strap her into the back seat. Why did she have to be so distracting even after the pheromones have faded?

Finally, Karolina slumps into the driver’s seat once more. How is she supposed to face her on Monday? She groans, resting her forehead on the steering wheel. If she knew Nico is an Omega, she would’ve tried harder to extinguish her crush. Then again, so adept at repressing this side of her, Karolina often forgets she is supposed to be an Alpha—her faraway crush was doomed from the start. 

Perhaps Nico won’t remember. 

Does she want her to remember? No, no, she isn’t going down this spiral right now. 

Karolina starts the car. Shifts her focus to the road as she manoeuvres them back on the main road. The plan is simple: she’ll take her home and disappear, and no one will ever speak of this again. It will all be a hazy hormone-fuelled dream by tomorrow. Then, Karolina can return to the simple and easy life of Nico never acknowledging her existence, which is arguably _much_ better than Nico hating her guts. 

Yes, Karolina decides, that’s good enough. 

* * *

On Monday morning, Karolina drags herself to class with a large coffee in hand and dark rings around her eyes to match. She spent the weekend dreading and working herself up with a million possible scenarios, and now, defeated by her own imagination, she’s too tired to care. 

Still, it’s a relief when Nico doesn’t show up. 

It’s less of a relief when she doesn’t show up the next day. 

Or the day after that. 

Her imagination takes a turn.

By the end of the week, Karolina’s guilt sits knotted and heavy in the pit of her stomach. She paces up and down the length of her dorm room that evening, trying and failing to ignore the consequences of her actions. 

Karolina has always hated being an Alpha. Growing up, it always seemed like a joke that the soft-spoken, sensitive blonde is supposed to take charge and let her instinct drive. The scratches and bruises, the loss of control, the tears the next morning—God, poor Julie. She had left with a busted lip and disconcerting bruises, while Karolina—who truly believed she was going to be her one and only—carried around the broken pieces of her heart for months. It was everything she had feared about giving her heart away. Everything she feared and loathed about being an Alpha—proven more than justified.

After Julie, she never thought she’d be here again. Always thought that the shame would keep her down. That she can be good forever. And now, three years later, here she is again. Hurting someone she wants so badly to care for. 

She thinks back to Nico’s slumped over body in the driver’s seat, and the bruises on her arms. 

No, being an Alpha has never brought anything but trouble into her life. 

She stops pacing to look at her hands, opening and clenching them, and thinking about how Nico felt beneath them. The truth is that Nico has always held a power over her she cannot deny, an unfailing tendency to send a shock to her spine at the mere thought of her. Ever since the first time she saw her in a first-year English class—a mandatory credit Karolina had dreaded—alone and brooding at the front corner of Gothic Literature in History, she was smitten. Karolina was three rows behind and four seats to the right, drawn to the captivation on Nico’s face. Karolina is a physics major, with an emphasis on astrophysics, but has since tried so desperately to see her again that she ended up accruing enough credits for a minor in literature. 

Karolina doesn’t mind giving Nico this power over her—prefers the weakness over the guilt—but her heart aches at the thought of never seeing her again. At the thought of how much Nico must hate her. Though she never meant for them to ever truly cross paths—having talked herself into keeping her admiration distant _numerous_ times—the _possibility_ still gnaws at her.

She really, really didn’t want Nico to hate her.

So, she reasons, at the very least, she should apologize. 

But how?

Over two weeks of no-shows later, Karolina is close to piecing back her sanity and moving on. So, really, she could _theoretically_ be able to talk to her like a normal person and apologize. On a sunny Saturday morning, however, everything is undone when she catches her scent in the air on her morning run. The scent stops her in her tracks—she nearly trips. Her head whips around to a patch of grass along the campus running path. 

There, beneath a young tree, sits Nico, cross-legged with a heavy textbook open in her lap. Her hands are still on its pages, and her head is thrown back, eyes closed. Her chest rises steadily in sleep, and Karolina’s racing heart tugs her forward like a magnet. Slowly, slowly, she approaches the sleeping girl, but as she gets closer, something sucks her in. She falls to her knees beside her and clenches her fists on the tops of her thighs, resisting the urge to touch.

Her scent sends a prickle to the back of her throat, a muted but telltale sign of Karolina’s attraction. 

Nico’s lips are a dark, dark red, slightly parted, inviting and oh-so-soft, and she inches a little closer. She can almost taste her flavour on her tongue, can almost relive the texture of her flesh scraping against her teeth. She shudders. 

Suddenly, Nico moans and whispers a single word: “Karolina.”

Karolina stumbles back, blood cold and body frozen—it snaps her out of whatever spell she was in, especially when wide, dark eyes level with her own. 

“H-hey,” Karolina says with a weak smile. 

“W-what the hell?” Nico breaths, holding her book to her chest. Her skin is flushed red. “How long have you been here? What do you want?” 

“Not long?” Karolina holds out both hands defensively; Nico tears through her with a glare. “I didn’t mean to bother you, it’s just…I saw you and...and it’s been awhile, and I haven’t seen you in class, so I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“Liar,” Nico growls. “You come out of nowhere and you…you project your weird Alpha brainwashing bullshit on me and—and you dare tell me you’re just ‘making sure I’m okay’? I don’t think so.” 

“What? What are you talking about?” 

Nico scoffs, then shoves her book into her backpack and pushing herself into a standing position. “Just get out of my sight, Karolina.”

“W-wait!” Karolina stumbles onto her feet and hurries after her, catching up to Nico’s quick pace with a few strides of her long legs. “Nico, wait. Can we talk?”

“We have nothing to say to each other,” Nico replied coldly. 

She speeds up, but Karolina quickly lunges forward and grabs her wrist—she feels the prickle again, but wrestles it under control. Her heart feels like it’s about to explode when Nico whips around and pins her down with a murderous expression. 

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” 

“Please, just...I just want to talk.”

“Let. Go,” Nico grinds out through gritted teeth. “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

Karolina, in spite of the clamminess of her palms, stands her ground. 

“Fine,” Karolina says, tightening her grip when she tries to pull out of it, “but I have something to say to you.” 

“Fine. Say it then. You have five seconds before I knee you in the stomach. Don’t test me,” Nico warns. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Nico blinks. “Okay?” 

Karolina sighs. “I’m sorry for what happened that night. You weren’t yourself, and I should’ve stopped it, but instead I hurt you and I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m...terrible. I just can’t control myself and I hate that feeling, so I just want to apologize… I know it doesn’t change what happened, but I just...needed to get it off my chest because it’s killing me.” She lets go of her wrist and holds her own elbow with her hand, eyes trained on a yellow flower at her feet. “That’s all.”

Nico chews her lip thoughtfully. She doesn’t run. It’d be a good sign, Karolina thinks, if she doesn’t also look ready to deliver that knee in the gut as promised. 

“You tied me up with a bungee cord,” Nico says. There’s a whisper of a smile there, but Karolina misses it in favour of scrutinizing her shoes. 

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles back. “It felt like the right thing to do.”

Nico crosses her arms and rakes her eyes up and down Karolina’s body. Anxiously, Karolina tugs down her running shorts slightly, and hugs her arms around her purple racerback, but Nico’s expression is unreadable. Finally, she says, “I don’t know a lot of Alphas, but you’re an odd one, aren’t you?” 

Karolina smiles sheepishly. “You wouldn’t be the first to tell me that.” 

Nico scoffs. “What, do you apologize to all the boys and girls who throw themselves at you?”

“Um, no,” Karolina laughs, but the anxiety squeezes out of her in a raspy exhale instead. She clears her throat, and darts her gaze around. “I’m, um, I try to be good.” 

Nico raises a brow. “Are you six? What the hell does that mean?” 

Karolina shifts her weight to her other leg. “I try to, um, avoid...hurting others.” 

“So, what, you don’t sleep with Omegas?” Confusion rubs out the angry edge to her voice.

“I...don’t...sleep with anyone,” Karolina admits, running a hand down her face. “Period.” 

“What?” Nico cries, louder than she probably intended. “But you’re hot!” 

Karolina flushes crimson. She mumbles her thanks, not sure what else to say in case her rattling heart ends up exploding out of her chest for real. But Nico isn’t listening anyway. Her brows furrow to match her frown, her head tilted as if trying to figure out the greatest mystery in the universe—Karolina digs a shoe into the grass, trying not to find Nico adorable. “So, let me get this straight,” Nico says, rubbing her temple, “you’re a hot Alpha who actively avoids sex. What, do the laws of nature not apply to you? What the hell do you do when an Omega in heat walks by?” 

“I told you, I…I try to be good. I walk away, I hide, I…do my best.” 

“You’re an Uber driver. Don’t tell me _I’m_ the first one dumb enough to get stuck in your car in heat.” 

Karolina takes a big step backward, trying, with great effort, to push away the vivid images that the simple statement brings. “I...don’t usually drive Omegas,” she sighs. 

Nico nods. It takes a moment to process before Karolina is met with another withering glare. “Wait a minute. Why did you drive _me_ then?” 

Karolina takes in a deep breath. There’s no running from the truth now, she thinks, especially if Nico already distrusts her. 

“I drove you...because...um, when I received your request, I...was really, um, excited and I didn’t know you were an Omega. Most of the time, I just...don’t think about it?” 

Nico narrows her eyes. “Excited? Have you been casing me? Should I call the police?” 

“What? No! Um, please don’t. I just...really like you,” she mumbles, cheeks flaring. “Since first year...it’s...a bit pathetic, but I’m not a stalker or anything. Not really. Or, I don’t…try to be.” She sighs and runs a shaky hand through her hair. Nico doesn’t say anything, so she rambles on. “I...didn’t expect anything to come of it. You don’t know me and guys like you, so I don’t know. Didn’t think I’d have a chance. I figured I could just...admire you from afar until I graduate and finally be able to get over you, but stupidly, I jumped at the chance to sit in the same car with you for a couple minutes and—this whole mess. I’m sorry...you must think it’s weird. Look, I promise I don’t mean any harm. I…should probably just go so you never have to see me again, so—”

“Stop talking.”

Karolina snaps her mouth shut. 

For a long moment, Nico studies her intensely—it doesn’t help the anxious bubbles in Karolina’s system. “Fine,” Nico says firmly. “I don’t trust you, but I’ll go out with you. Pick me up at seven tonight where you found me last time and take me somewhere interesting.” 

Then, she shoulders her bag and walks away, leaving Karolina slack-jawed in the middle of the quad. 

As the white Prius pulls up to the curb at two minutes to seven, Nico takes a deep breath. The window rolls down—she tries not to relive that night. 

“Hi,” Karolina says, smiling broadly. 

“Hi,” Nico mumbles back. Outmatched by the radiance of the other woman, Nico doesn’t smile. She ducks her eyes and scurries over to the passenger side, still unable to fully process, nearly ten hours later, at the conversation they had this morning. From what she has seen, Karolina Dean isn’t a complete weirdo, nor does she seem to be dangerous or malicious in any way. People flock to her nice smile and perfect body. She has her pick of lovers, and yet here she is in the driver’s seat—a celibate Alpha who looks like she’s been given God’s gift as Nico enters the car. 

Why the hell did Nico ask her out? Curiosity? Intrigue? Loneliness? It must’ve been a moment of reckless courage. That’s all.

Three years, Nico thinks as she pulls down her seatbelt. She’s never liked anybody for longer than a night, much less an unattainable stranger for three years. How can a girl like Karolina ever think a girl like her is unattainable anyway? Maybe it’s all the exhausted scowling every class. 

Karolina is an odd one, alright. 

“I’m going to keep the windows down, if that’s okay,” Karolina says, pulling her from a reverie. “The, um, pheromones. I...don’t really know what will happen, but this morning...just being close to you was enough to start...something, and I...I don’t want that. So, um, I’ll try my best, okay? If ever I do anything uncomfortable, I won’t be offended if you push me or run away.”

Nico shrugs. “Sounds fair. Never been in close proximity with an Alpha for a prolonged period of time before.” 

“It...should be okay. It seems okay right now, but anything can happen, so like I said—”

“Just drive, Karolina. I promise I will dropkick you on the head, if that makes you feel better.”

Karolina laughs, and Nico finds herself holding back a smile. “It does.” 

Out on the road, Nico finds Karolina surprisingly easy to talk to. They bond over their classes and professors over the years, mutual friends, classes they didn’t take together, and upcoming deadlines. She learns that Karolina is a physics major. “Physics and literature is a pretty unusual combination,” she says casually. Karolina doesn’t reply. 

Then, Karolina takes a right on a narrow, wooded path, and Nico panics. 

“Where are we going?” she finally asks. 

“Don’t worry,” Karolina says, smiling, “you’ll see when we get there.” 

Hackles raised, Nico’s tone is sharp when she says, “I have to worry because the _last_ time we were in a place like this—in this exact car, might I add—everything went to hell. I don’t remember everything that happened, but I remember enough to hate myself, so _where_ are we going?” 

Karolina deflates, and Nico feels a little bad. It’s a little like kicking a puppy, but the puppy is a gorgeous, distracting Alpha, so she doesn’t feel _that_ bad for protecting herself. Not really. She’s just defending herself. Nico looks away—okay, she feels kinda bad considering how torn up Karolina seems to be about that night.

“We’re almost there,” Karolina insists. “Remember, if anything happens, you still have my permission to dropkick me on the head. I’ll even pay my own hospital bills.” 

Nico sighs. It’s hard not to find Karolina endearing despite it all. “You’re an idiot,” she grumbles. She tries not to think about the way her heart tugs a little at the way Karolina beams. 

Soon enough, the car pulls up to a small, dark church. It’s all dark, dusty brick, broken, arched windows, and sharp spires. Nico’s eyes widen—it’s beautiful.

“It’s abandoned,” Karolina says, stepping out of the car. “Probably was on fire at some point.”

Nico quickly follows suit. “Wow.” She runs up the steps and toward the arch where the door once was. “This is, like, straight out of some creepy Gothic novel. Can’t believe we _have_ something like this so close to campus, hidden away.” She whips back to look at Karolina with sparkling eyes. “Where did you find this place?” 

“One of the perks of being a driver for _very_ excited college students,” Karolina replies, slamming the trunk of her car closed.

She watches curiously as Karolina strides up to meet her on the top step, lifting up a woven basket in one hand. “Figured we can have a picnic in here.”

Nico nods mutely. A picnic inside an abandoned church—Nico’s heart flutters. How did she know?

Karolina smiles and reaches for her hand, but sheepishly retreats halfway, mumbling something about the pheromones. Nico follows her retreating back instead, and can’t help but feel just a little disappointed. It could be the chemical attraction, but she doesn’t think she’d mind if Karolina holds her hand. In fact, it might be kind of nice. Her fingers twitch at the emptiness, but neither say a word. 

They clamber over fallen beams and run-down pews to stand on the empty stage beneath shattered windows. They can almost picture an old organ and an altar for old men to pace in front of, passionately delivering benedictions to a somber audience. 

“All we need now is a couple ravens to curse us our hubris and prophesy our downfalls,” Nico says, standing with her arms akimbo as she surveys the room. 

“Don’t forget the angry ghosts of murdered children,” Karolina adds as she lays down a blanket. “We might get possessed tonight.” 

“How did you know that’s, like, the number one thing on my bucket list?”

Karolina smiles, sits down and lays out two thermoses, two sandwiches, and a box of fruit. Nico lays down across from her on the crisp blue blanket, hands beneath her head, and sighs. “This place is amazing,” she says. “Seriously? What kind of crazy Alpha brain magic did you use to find this place? It’s like my dream home.” 

Karolina laughs, and reaches over to place a sandwich on Nico’s stomach. “It’s not magic. And my Alpha genes _definitely_ didn’t have anything to do with it. You probably don’t remember, but the first class we ever took together was a Gothic lit class. You were so...enthralled by the subject, and I guess that’s where I fell for you.” Karolina cringes. “That sounded a whole lot less cheesy in my head.” 

Nico’s stomach knots, and she doesn’t know how to respond. Doesn’t seem to be able to take her eyes off the ceiling to look at her. She doesn’t remember at all. In fact, she hadn’t really taken notice of Karolina until this semester, and it’s a little daunting to realize Karolina has probably been waiting three years for her to notice. 

“A-anyway,” Karolina says, anxiously peeling back the plastic wrap around her sandwich. “It’s an educated guess. It’s the perfect place for mystery and intrigue. You can almost feel the beating of a heart beneath the floorboards.” 

“Yeah,” Nico says. She sits up and catches the sandwich rolling into her lap. “The vibe is definitely there.” She pauses, then catches her eye ever so briefly. “So, um, thanks? For bringing me here.” 

“Yeah,” Karolina says with a sweet smile, “I’m happy to.” 

“So,” Nico says, taking a bite of her meal, “how many dead bodies do you think are buried here?”

* * *

They continue to banter between bites of food and sips of hot chocolate, and by the time they finish eating and exploring the nooks and crannies, making up fantastic stories along the way, the natural light has faded and it’s pitch black inside the church. Though they never voice it, they can sense the presence of the other, and as they sit now on either side of a long pew, hugging their knees, their intermingled scent is almost calming. In spite of the low thrum of constant desire, there’s something so comfortable and safe about being anchored by the other. 

“Hey Nico,” Karolina says, putting her chin on the gap between her knees. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure.” She extends her leg and lightly nudges Karolina’s with the toe of her boots. “Doesn’t mean I’ll answer though. Dropkick rules still apply.” 

“Of course. I guess I just want to know, um, the Alpha thing—why don’t you trust them? Er, us.”

“Oh,” Nico mumbles. The rustle of fabric echo in the darkness as she rubs her hands down the length of her jeans. “That.” 

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Karolina says gently. 

“It’s not a big deal, really. My mom is an Alpha and my dad is an Omega, and I guess, growing up, my mom has always been kind of intense and overbearing and power-hungry and selfish, and I just hate how powerless she makes me feel sometimes. And I see it in my dad too—I mean, I don’t even know if they’re really mates. Mates are supposed to make you better or whatever, but my dad just…lets her do whatever she wants. I see it in most the Omegas I know—that fear of powerlessness. But they never do anything about it—just lets other people chip away at them, and I guess I just...I never want to be like that. And losing control like I did last time...it’s really fucking scary.” 

“Yeah,” Karolina says quietly. “It really is.” 

“Yeah?” 

And maybe it’s the warm hot chocolate in her stomach, or the intimacy of darkness, legs touching legs, that makes it easy for Karolina to be open and vulnerable. To let Nico in and welcome her to stay. “You know, my mom is an Alpha too,” she says. ”One of those really charismatic ones that just kind of draw you in and spit you out, and...so...ideal, you know? In her—our—circles anyway. It kind of sucks because I feel like such a disappointment sometimes, but...maybe it’s inevitable because I...I don’t really want to be like her either. Maybe I just don’t mind being weak if strength comes at the expense of others.” 

Nico hums. “Do you...often lose control too?”

“I don’t know about ‘often’,” Karolina laughs. “Like, sure, if an Alpha meets an Omega in heat, they’re going to get sucked in, but I usually try to extricate myself before it feels like I’m losing it—because, you’re right, it’s…really, really scary. Then, I go for a run, or take a cold shower, and usually it’s fine.”

“Usually?”

Karolina chuckles and hopes it doesn’t come off as nervous and high-pitched as it does to her own ears. “You, um, seemed to be the exception.”

“W-well, isn’t it nice though, to be in control even in a situation you can’t control?” Nico asks. 

“What do you mean?” 

Nico blushes, thankfully under cover of complete darkness, and hugs her knees close to her chest. “You know, um, like...last time. Doesn’t it feel good to, you know, be on top?” 

Karolina nearly chokes on her own saliva. “I don’t know,” she mumbles quickly. “I wasn’t really myself, s-so...” 

“Hey Karolina?” Nico blurts out.

“Y-yes…?” 

“Do you believe in mates?”

“Um, I’ve never really thought about it. It sounds nice—to so fully commit that your bodies synch up or something, but I’ve never…really seen it myself, you know? My mom never had one to my knowledge.”

Nico nods, though it goes unseen in the dark. “People around me…they say it’s real, but I think they’re lying to themselves. So, I…don’t really believe in them. I just thought you should know that because, uh, I think...um, you’re a really good person. Maybe. I feel like you are,” Nico says slowly, as if afraid to trip over her own words. “And I don’t mean to take advantage of that, and I’m in _no_ way asking you to be my mate or anything, and I really don’t want to lead you on in case you believe in that stuff, but...c-can I ask something really selfish?”

Karoline’s stomach is in knots. “Sure,” she says anyway.

“I’m going to be honest. People tell me all the time that spending your heat with an Alpha is like nothing else, and last time...as much as I _hate _so much about what happened between us, they’re right. It was…good. Like really, really...wow. And I…I’ve been trying to forget it—forget you—but it was just so…satisfying in a way that I’ve never experienced before. And, most of all, you were…kind.”

Karolina blushes, and doesn’t say anything for fear of making a fool of herself by sounding too hopeful, but she doesn’t get a chance to respond when Nico drops the bomb. 

“So, um, in a couple of weeks,” she says, “it’s going to happen again.”

Oh no, Karolina thinks, shivering at the chill crawling up her spine. She doesn’t like the way her body thrums at the memory. 

“And…I…want to spend it with you again. Just one more time.”

Karolina’s breath catches in her throat, somehow both completely afraid and completely elated. “R-really?”

“Yeah. I think. M-maybe. I don’t know. There’s just…there’s one more thing though.”

Unable to fully process this conversation, Karolina churns out a stilted, “Yes? What is it?”

“I’ve always wanted to, um…well, I’ve always had this fantasy,” Nico continues, “o-of being able to be in total control when that happens. And—and being able to take that control away from someone else...for myself, you know? Just for a night. Do you...do you know what I mean? Just once, I want to…take the lead in what happens to my own body…and—and see where it goes.” 

Karolina forgets to breathe. Tries not to think too hard about _exactly_ what she means, and how even the slightest inkling of an idea makes her hands clammy. She shifts back on the pew and slides her feet back to solid ground. “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she says. “I don’t...trust myself not to hurt you.” 

“You won’t!” Nico leans forward, shifts a little closer without realizing. “We could, like, I don’t know, tie you up?”

Karolina has to try very hard to focus on the issue at hand and not on _that _particular imagery. “I can’t predict who I’ll become, Nico, and neither can you. I wouldn’t know my own strength.” 

Nico kneels on the pew, and reaches into the darkness to tug lightly on the fabric of Karolina’s sleeve. “Please, Karolina. It’s just…just once. Would you...would you rather I find another Alpha?” 

Karolina turns to her, and just makes out the shine in her eyes. Her hand itches to touch her cheek—keep her for herself—to pull her close and melt into the gentle plea in her voice. Her heart sighs, and wonders if Nico would be easier to resist if she were colder, still angry with her perhaps. 

Probably not. 

“Does it have to be an Alpha?” Karolina whispers.

“You know it does.”

Karolina takes a deep breath. “Fine,” she says, her hand brushing Nico’s in the dark. She drops her voice then, and takes Nico’s hands into her own. “Just promise me you won’t anybody come _close_ to hurting you. Including me.”

In a move that sends Karolina’s heart-rate soaring past dangerous levels, Nico threads her fingers through hers and says, in a voice that seems entirely too pleased, “Okay.”

In that moment, Karolina realizes that perhaps getting over this unrequited crush is going to be a little harder than she thought. What she doesn’t realize is that, for Nico, it was an empty threat—there isn’t a person in the world like Karolina. It has to be her.

As they later exchange smiles inside the car, it’s immediately clear to Nico that Karolina is something special, and as she is sitting in the passenger seat looking at her profile, she realizes that it would be all too easy to reciprocate her feelings if she asks. Nico’s heart beats a little faster. She’s never been in this position before, and, surprisingly, it’s not scary at all. Just…exciting.

In the driver’s seat, however, it’s immediately clear to Karolina that no, she has experienced too much—it’s straight up impossible to simply get over her like nothing happened. She craves the soft smiles, the gentle caresses, the little looks, the whispered words and the comfortable silence—all the things lovers take for granted. All of this is simply too good to be true, and Karolina has never been one to allow herself to dwell in fantasies for too long. So, all she can do is hope, as she glances at Nico dozing off in the passenger seat, that she’ll be able to find her heart again after it inevitably wears itself out once all of this is over.

* * *

Nico manages to keep herself busy during the next two weeks. Manages not to think too much about Karolina, really, and where the hell she found the courage proposition her like that. It’s insane—she knows it’s unfair too. She does. But Karolina is…

She doesn’t want to sift through adjectives, for fear of how her heart has been behaving lately. 

Nico sips on a cup of coffee and pretends to read “Heart of Darkness” while looking at the clock every fifteen seconds. She taps her fingers on her desk, trying to pretend she isn’t about to throw up at the thought of the little fire symbol drawn on her calendar for tonight. As if she isn’t already feeling the effects of it building up inside her. 

She straightens her black shirt over her skirt.

Karolina is supposed to come over at five. While the sun is still up—just in case. Nico has been up since five in the morning, scrubbing down her dorm room and thinking about Karolina coming over. Her stomach has been doing somersaults all day, and she wonders if this is a very bad idea. 

She doesn’t remember everything about that night. Karolina’s conflicted blue eyes and her darkened, desperate ones mirroring her own. The strength of Karolina’s arms as she held her, followed by the kind of soul-numbing orgasm one doesn’t easily forget. Everything else is fragmented, disjointed and poorly reconstructed on a timeline that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, and all she knows is that after one night and one date, she’s already hopelessly hooked. So, yes, maybe a rerun of that night _is_ a very bad idea. 

Nico glances at the set of ropes sitting on her bed—but she’s wanted this for so long that she can’t back down now. Karolina may not like her very much after this, so she’ll take what she can get, feelings be damned. And really, Nico shouldn’t overthink this. She shouldn’t be putting so much blind faith in a virtual stranger anyway, sweet as she may be. It’s just good fun, right? Yes, she shouldn’t feel guilty. She’s the exception to every rule, and Nico hates that she’s so goddamn addicting, but it’s fine. It’ll be fine.

It’s one time.

Karolina arrives early, knocking at her door with ten minutes to spare, and Nico is immediately hit with a spike in blood pressure.

She nearly knocks her book to the floor as she springs up and hurtles toward the door. She throws it open, and steps out into the hall, slamming the door closed behind her with far more anxious energy than she intended.

Karolina takes only a moment to look bewildered before flinching back, hands grasping tightly around a bottle of wine. Nico’s stomach drops—she can smell it already.

“Uh, hi,” Karolina says. “Sorry, I’m, um, early. I kind of just spent the afternoon walking in circles around my room and…didn’t know what else to do, I guess…not that you, um, really needed to know that.” Her eyes dart, as if she’s ready to bolt at any moment.

“It’s fine,” Nico says as nonchalantly as possible, “I was…kind of in the same situation.” Then, from her pocket, she produces something pink, and hands it to Karolina. “This is…kinda dumb, but I was thinking this might help…y’know, get through the door at least.”

Karolina exchanges the bottle of wine for the square piece of baby pink fabric, and pulls at the looped string on either side. “Is this a…surgical mask?”

“Yeah,” Nico chuckles. “My grandma gave me a box of these when we went back to Japan last year. Never really thought I’d have any use for them, but I figured if, um, it’s designed to filter out the air and stuff, maybe…”

“It’ll help us keep our hands off each other for a minute?” Karolina laughs as she loops one side around her ear. “I’m not sure, but it’s worth a try, I guess. How are you holding up?”

“I’m…fine. Having you around definitely…changes things though,” Nico says, flushing. “Have you eaten?”

Karolina nods, then loops the other side of the mask around her other ear. “How do I look?” she asks.

“Still good,” Nico replies with a roll of her eyes. “Do you feel any different?”

“Not so far. Still, um, smelling everything.” And Nico believes her too, if the way the bright blue in her eyes is changing is any indication.

“Listen,” Nico says slowly. “This could be…a really bad idea.”

Karolina’s eyes curve, smiling. “I know, but if this is what you want, I…think we should do it.”

Nico bit her lip. “Do _you _want to do it?”

“Honestly,” Karolina sighs, “I’d be lying if I said I’m not freaking out. I think it would be good to know a little more about our…alter egos? I just hope I’ll be able to hold up my end of the promise. Anyway,” she shakes her head, “the answer is yes. I want to do this.”

“Alright, yeah. It’ll be okay,” Nico says, taking a deep breath. “Um, come here.” Karolina bends down slightly at Nico’s beckoning—the pheromones fluttering off her doesn’t help, but she steels herself. Nico bites her lip, eyes darting around the empty hallway, then cups a hand by Karolina’s ear. “I’m going to tie you up. Blindfold you. Then, um, t-there’s going to be…something else. Is that okay?”

Karolina pulls away, both sporting pink faces despite the confusion on Karolina’s face. “Something else?”

Nico nods.

“You’re not going to tell me?”

Nico sighs, her cheeks now fully red. “It’s embarrassing.”

“But…I’m blindfolded, right?”

“It’s…I bought a…um,” Nico takes a breath, then tiptoes up to Karolina’s ear to whisper, “a thing.”

“What?”

“A thing.” Seeing the confusion on the other woman’s face, Nico groans and mutters, “A strap-on.”

Karolina freezes.

“Is that okay?” Nico asks, chewing anxiously on her lip. “Should we…not do this?”

“I think it’s too late,” Karolina mumbles. Her entire body is humming with the need to shove Nico against a wall, and if she leaves now, the victim will be the next person she sees. Karolina digs her nails into her own skin, to stave off the animal growing inside. “The rope sounds like a good idea right now,” she rasps. “We need to get inside. Right now, before I take you against the door.”

“Fuck,” Nico mumbles. “D-don’t say things like that.”

She quickly turns around, opens the door, and Karolina is instantly hit with a powerful wave of hunger—something inside her claws at her, begging her to claim her prey, but she clenches her fists and closes her eyes. Tries her best to fight against the concentrated aroma of an Omega in this tiny space.

She falls to her knees as she rips off the mask—there’s little difference—and means to say something, anything to offset the sheer power of her instincts, but it comes out as a strangled moan.

“Jesus, Karolina.” 

When Karolina opened her eyes, Nico is standing in front of her with a circle of rope in her hands, her face red and her breathing becoming equally laboured as they stare each other down, trying to navigate the last vestiges of hesitation in each other’s eyes. Finally, Karolina nods, and, with shaking hands, Nico approaches with the rope.

“Hold still.”

* * *

If anybody asks Karolina what she would be doing on an average weekend, she would probably say studying or watching a movie. If she’s feeling a little crazy, she might even say she’d call her mom, go shopping and have dinner. That’s about as wild as Karolina Dean ever gets.

Never in a million years would she have expected to spend a Saturday tied up by the wrists and blindfolded, spread eagle on the bed of Nico Minoru.

It’s surprisingly a little cold despite the L.A. sun fading into orange through the window. Colder still as she lays there, naked, vulnerable, and waiting for something to happen. There’s a rustling noise at the foot of her bed, but she’s distracted by how quickly her mind is unravelling as every sensation seems to be amplified. The rope digs into her wrists, and the scent emanating from the both of them is so strong that she can almost taste the flavour. She tries to hold back from calling for Nico as hands roam across her skin, curious yet apprehensive.

Nico needs time, and Karolina needs to feel her flesh beneath her palms, but that _really_ isn’t going to help this whole situation, is it?

Karolina needs to feel her, needs to bare her teeth and mark her flesh and make her scream and—no, no, no! What she needs is to give her time, to give her control, as promised. To stop throttling her bindings and relax.

Just. Relax.

It feels like torturous years before the bed finally dips, and a warm weight finally settles on her stomach. Something scratches at her leg, rough as sandpaper, but she doesn’t get a moment to dwell when soft lips touch her own. For a moment, it’s gentle. Familiar in flavour without the edge of anger, and almost intimate in a way that sends a shiver down Karolina’s spine.

It’s just one night, Karolina reminds herself. One night to get it out of both their systems. Don’t think about the way Nico feels, careful and trembling with restraint as she holds Karolina’s face between her fingertips.

The trepidation, however, snaps when Karolina suddenly feels a hot tongue prying her open and the scratch of nails running lines down her body. Her throat rumbles—she drinks her in like water in a desert, craving more and more. She thrashes against her binds, craving to touch, to mold, to sear flesh against flesh. She opens her mouth to wrestle back control, but finds the taste of only empty air on her tongue.

“Nico?” her voice manages in strangled plea.

Nico leans down, her chest pressing against Karolina’s as her ragged breaths burn hot against Karolina’s cheeks. “I’m…slipping,” Nico replies.

There’s an apology hanging on her lips, for something she doesn’t completely understand, and Karolina doesn’t want to hear it. In her last moments of lucidity, she doesn’t want to hear the regret. “It’s okay,” she says quickly. “It’ll be okay.”

Without warning, something hard presses itself against Karolina’s thigh and slides up to her entrance. Nico’s breath hitches by her ear, and Karolina can feel her desire pooling, hot and sticky as the hardness slowly slides itself up and down her length.

All she smells then is her own scent mixed with Nico’s; all she feels is the weight of Nico’s body and the tautness of her own as she pulls at her binds; all she hears is her own voice, increasingly monstrous to her own ears, and desperate breaths until her last moment of rationality fades behind the darkness of her blindfold.

The hard object enters her easily, and it’s Nico who cries out as she digs her nails into Karolina’s flesh. Her hips meet Karolina’s, the object sliding all the way in. It’s not enough—the bed starts to rattle with the force of her tugging wrists, but Nico, grinds and pumps desperately and without ceremony. Teeth scrape against Karolina’s chest, then roughly pulls at a nipple, drawing a groan from Karolina’s lips as she arches her back, burning for more.

Suddenly, a snap. The ropes around her wrist rips away and Karolina immediately reaches for the blindfold. If she were sober, she would notice the ring of red branded to her wrists, but all she sees is her prey, her Omega, half-lidded and half-dressed in an open black shirt with her mouth half open. She doesn’t wait; doesn’t stop to watch the way she fucks her, so consumed by her own need that she can barely keep a steady rhythm.

Karolina pushes her off of her and onto her back, sitting up to clutch her by the base of her throat, nearly growling with uncontrollable desire as she sits up and straddles Nico’s waist. Nico’s flushed, her eyes dark and glassy as she lays back, hips still twitching and chest still rising and falling rapidly as a part of her dangles off the side of her bed.

Karolina doesn’t fully comprehend the black rod protruding from Nico, but she sees the other side of it, buried deep inside the other woman, framed by a web of juices dripping from her thigh. She grabs the base of her throat with one hand, and the strap-on with the other. Karolina’s grip tightens around her throat as instinct guides her entrance to the tip, and she pushes down to the base, grinding down against Nico, who immediately reaches out for her, moaning unintelligibly as she thrashes against her grip, begging for more, begging to be completely filled and satiated from the other side.

Then, Karolina hears it—the faintest sound of her name on Nico’s lips, and she’s brought back to Earth. In that single moment, she feels Nico burn up against her, feels her grip around Nico’s neck, and she shirks back. “Nico,” she whispers, pulling her up by the arm, one hand snaking around her back for leverage. “I got you.”

“Karolina,” Nico mumbles, throwing her arms around Karolina’s neck. She hooks her chin on her shoulder, hands buried in her golden strands, skin pressed flush against her as she buries herself deep inside Karolina. Her speech is muffled, barely intelligible as she speaks, half begging, half demanding. Karolina makes out only one thing, and it sets her body ablaze anew: “Let me. Please.”

Karolina tries to clutch onto that rare strand of awareness, tries to let go, but nearly everything inside her is clawing at her, desperate for her to break out of bondage and rip off that harness and mount her against every surface in the room. She closes her eyes, her nails digging into the soft flesh of Nico’s thighs as she worked. “Nico,” she whispers hoarsely. “You have to bite me. Keep me here. Now—before it becomes too much.”

Nico pulls back and stares at her with vacant eyes and ragged breaths. She continues her jerky movements, completely unable to comprehend anything else.

So, with a burst of lucid strength, Karolina pulls her closer on her lap, and bares her teeth. “Hurry, Nico,” she growls, “or I’ll hurt you.” When Nico does not immediately react, she scrapes a canine against her shoulder, and draws a bead of blood—Nico barely notices, but the action is enough to trigger a response, and, like a child, she attempts to mimic her, enough to leave teeth marks on her chest and collar.

It isn’t enough—Karolina feels herself slipping away once more. She pulls Nico out and rolls her over. Quickly and clumsily against the writhing woman before her, she unfastens the harness, fingers slick with sweat and slipping at every turn.

Karolina seems to float above the room as she watches her body move, watches it refasten the harness to herself, and she wants to wake up, wants to stop herself from hurting her, but Nico reaches for her, claws at her in desperation, and it’s all the encouragement she needs. Possessed by the need to take her, mark her, and claim her once more, she pries her legs open and trusts herself in—Nico voice fills the room and it’s too late.

Her senses completely take over and all sense of herself is gone.

The last thing Karolina remembers of that night is the rush of euphoria, as if her soul has fully converged with Nico’s.

* * *

Karolina groans when the sun hits her eyes the next morning. She attempts to lift her hand to shield herself from the sun, but a warm weight sits on her arm, and it pricks like a thousand little needles. Slowly, she opens her eyes to see the head of black hair tucked neatly into her chest.

Karolina’s heart rises—waking up next to Nico like this is nothing short of a dream.

Then, her heart drops—but at what cost? Fragments of her memories surface. Inevitably, the good ones get pushed down when she remembers the broken promises. All she had to do was give her the control she’s wanted her whole life; all she had to do was not hurt her.

And yet.

She doesn’t try to move her leaden limbs, knows exactly how sore she’ll be. Guilt stabs, and she closes her eyes, tries to drown out everything but Nico’s steady breaths. Her fingers brush against the soft skin of Nico’s side.

If only they can stay this way forever. Or at least another hour so Karolina can etch everything into her memory and put it into the pockets of her mind for the inevitable rainy days coming up.

But Nico stirs only five minutes later, and Karolina’s heart plummets.

Nico groans and rolls back, her head lolling back to blink at Karolina sleepily. Karolina tries not to look at her lips.

“Hi,” Nico says, rubbing her eye. “Wow. Good morning.”

“H-hi,” Karolina echoes with a weak smile. “How are you feeling?”

Nico extends her arms up in a catlike stretch, and Karolina winces at the sight of all the scratches on her pale skin. The bruising is minimal this time, but there’s marks all over places that shouldn’t be marked, and guilt plunges another dagger into Karolina’s heart.

Nico, however, doesn’t seem to sense Karolina’s agony. Instead, she turns back to her side and fixes her a smile. “Pretty good, actually,” she says.

Karolina runs a finger gently along one of the red lines along her upper arm. Nico flinches. “I did this to you,” Karolina murmurs.

Nico bats her hand away. “It’s fine. _I’m _fine. Really. Besides,” she says, touching her collarbone, “you’re just as scratched up. You just haven’t seen yourself yet.”

Karolina sighs. “Still…I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” Nico says. “I blacked out through most of it, but the parts I remember were pretty incredible.”

“But I…I broke our agreement and I had my hand around your throat at some point. I could’ve killed you, Nico.”

“But you didn’t. And you won’t.” Nico touches her elbow, her brows furrowed with concern. “You’re not some kind of monster, Karolina, and I don’t know how to make you understand. You did you best last night, you know, and I had a really, really great time, so stop worrying.”

Karolina blinks. Of all the ways she expected Nico to react upon waking up, she hadn’t expected kindness. She was so sure Nico would feel the same as she did about the way she lost control, about the way she’d stolen her control. She was sure Nico would come to hate her the way Julie hated her after their time together.

But Nico isn’t Julie.

She flushes in shame and simply nods.

“Hey, Karolina? Um, do you…can I buy you breakfast? You know, to say thank you?” Nico adds quickly.

No, Nico isn’t Julie, and the way she’s looking at her now, with such care and unspoken adoration…Karolina’s eyes dart away. Don’t, she reminds herself. Don’t look for things that aren’t there.

Nico draws her in like no one else in the world, and Karolina had freely given up her heart for sacrifice, fully knowing how temporary all of this is. Fully expecting nothing. At least, that was the plan. One night. Get it out of their systems.

God, it would be so easy if she could go back two months. If she never picked her up in her Prius.

But Karolina simply can’t pretend she doesn’t want to wake up with Nico in her arms every morning with mirrored affection in their eyes. She simply can’t pretend this illusion doesn’t hurt.

She can’t pretend she won’t keep hurting her.

So, Karolina declines.

* * *

A week later, Nico is sitting in the lecture hall, tapping her nails against her laptop, and she is _pissed. _Karolina is miles away on the other side of the room, head bent and furiously scribbling in her notebook with her weird pink pom-pom pen as if whatever bullshit the professor is spewing about window imagery in Jane Eyre is going to significantly change her life. Nico continues to stare, but staring soon turns to glaring when Karolina doesn’t look up.

Nico taps furiously.

Karolina _always_ looks up. At least, she used to.

Suddenly, someone grabs her hand and whispers harshly, “Calm the _fuck_ down, Nico.”

Nico directs her glare to the boy beside her. “Lay off, Alex,” she whispers back angrily.

“Woah, hey! I’m not the one you should be mad at. I just can’t listen with you tapping away like that.”

“Then don’t fucking sit next to me next time,” she retorts. She knows she’s being petty and childish and whatever the fuck else, but how can she _not_ when Karolina is avoiding her in every way. She’s just so…_infuriating_.

“Mr. Wilder and Ms. Minoru—do we have a problem here?” The professor bellows.

They shake their heads and, finally—_finally—_it gets Karolina’s attention. Nico tries to smile, to show that everything is okay even though it really isn’t, but Karolina’s expression darkens, and she turns back to her notebook with her shoulders sagged. She looked…pained almost, and Nico doesn’t get it. At least, until she notices that Alex is _still holding her hand_.

“Alex, what the fuck?” she grumbles, pulling her hand back.

She hears his apology, but in her mind, she’s already kicking his ass for ruining the _only_ moment she had with Karolina.

And Nico admits it—she misses this almost complete stranger like crazy. She doesn’t even know what she misses, specifically, but she craves to be near her in a way that she’s never felt before, and she’s 90% sure it isn’t just pheromones. Karolina is sweet, caring, and, mind-numbingly perfect sexual compatibility aside, she _gets_ it. She gets her, and Nico, well, maybe she wants to get _her_, too.

She also admits that yes, perhaps she was curious. Perhaps she was a little sick of sleeping with strangers. Perhaps she wanted to know what it’s like to have somebody look at her the way Karolina does. So yes, perhaps she did take advantage of that.

But Karolina consented. She opened herself up for her, gave her everything she wanted, and Nico…she was ready to give her heart in exchange.

So why the hell did she push it away?

As soon as class is dismissed, Nico grabs her laptop and barrels toward Karolina. Karolina attempts to weave through the string of students walking up the steps, but Nico leaps over a seat and elbows several annoyed, sleep-deficient students out of the way, and grabs her by the wrist. Several murmuring students shoot them bewildered looks, but none seem to be as surprised as Karolina.

“We need to talk,” Nico says.

Karolina glances at the people shoving past them nervously. “I, um, I have to go.”

Nico narrows her eyes. “Bullshit! You’ve been avoiding me all week!”

“N-Nico, please, I really do need to go.”

“Fine, but I’m not letting go. Not until you talk to me.”

Unfortunately, Karolina’s legs are significantly longer, and Nico is out of breath by the time she follows her to the parking lot. She makes a quick mental note to do more exercise in the future.

Karolina is halfway in the driver’s seat of her white Prius when she pauses and looks up at Nico, who is already strapped into the passenger side with her arms crossed.

Karolina bites her lip. “Look, I can call you—”

Nico cuts in without wasting a beat: “No. I’m coming with you.”

“Do you even care where I’m going?” Karolina sighs, raking a hand through her hair. “What if I was…I don’t know, going on a date or something?”

Nico raises a brow. “_Are _you going on a date?”

“No, I don’t know why I said that,” she grumbles, fiddling with her car key to avoid Nico’s gaze. “I’m…not going anywhere.”

Nico scoffs. “Yeah, didn’t think so. It’s a good thing you’re cute when you’re sulking.”

“I-I’m not sulking,” Karolina retorts.

Nico rolls her eyes. “I’d be more inclined to believe you if you haven’t been so tirelessly avoiding me this whole week. And don’t give me that look. Don’t you _dare_ say you’re not avoiding me.”

“What do you want me to say?” Karolina sighs, her cheeks hot with embarrassment.

Nico’s hands fall to her lap, her shoulders slumping. “I just want your honesty. I feel like I did something wrong, and I worry that you…you regret everything, and it’s been driving me crazy thinking about it.”

After a brief pause, Karolina takes a deep breath and tells the truth. At least, the parts of the truth that she can articulate. “You’re right,” she says quietly, “I do regret it.”

Nico never thought the sound of heartbreak is so quiet—no fanfare, no explosion, just a cloud of silent dust as dread sinks into the pit of her stomach.

Karolina, seemingly oblivious, simply went on. “If you want to know the truth so badly, then, yeah I regret sleeping with you. I’d…I’d wanted for so long to tell you how I felt, and I simply took advantage of my situation and now…you—you have to understand, Nico, that it’s…hard to forget everything and pretend I can go back to what my life used to be. You took a big piece of me when you were in my arms that morning, and I don’t…know what to do. If I hurt you again and you—you throw those pieces away, I don’t think I can ever recover. I’d never forgive myself. It’s so junior high that it kills me, but, I gave you my heart, Nico, even though I _knew_ I would hurt you, and I guess I…just don’t know what to do now.”

Nico is silent.

Oh.

The silence looms.

Karolina waits.

When she finally speaks, it isn’t what Karolina expects. “You’re an idiot.”

Before Karolina can take the time to process and respond, Nico turns and slugs Karolina across the shoulder.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For being stupid!”

“What?”

“Why the hell did you think I invited you to breakfast? Did you want me to spell it out in a fucking sonnet,” she huffed. “Or did you _want_ me to reject you?”

“I…don’t understand,” Karolina says quietly, brows furrowed as she runs her hands along the sides of her steering wheel.

“Listen. I know I haven’t spent three _years_ pining or anything, and, obviously, it might be a bit hard to believe because fucking physiology or whatever, but I’m serious about you.” Nico touches her arm tentatively, as if any sudden movement would send Karolina running. “I want to know everything about you—make up for the last three years. The good stuff and the bad. I’m not saying we need to get married tomorrow, and I'm not saying you have to be my mate, whatever that means, but I…I want to give this a try. Whatever that means to you, I guess. Oh, and for fuck’s sakes, I told you you didn’t hurt me. I’m not some fragile doll, Karolina.”

Slowly, Karolina covers Nico’s hand on her arm with her own. The way she looks at her then—with her big, doey, glistening eyes—Nico barely manages to stifle a laugh at the splitting image of a happy golden retriever. “Really?” Karolina whispers.

Nico tugs her forward, and pecks her on the lips. “Yes, really.”

Karolina kisses her back, so gently it’s almost too chaste to be romantic, but it’s enough to cause a distracting itch in the back of her throat, enough to feel Nico smile against her. She pulls away with a sheepish smile, and is thankful that Nico is too dazed herself to notice. “Okay, um,” Karolina says between shaky breaths, “that’s…that’s great.” She runs a hand through her hair once more.

“So,” Nico raises a brow, “why do you still look like you’re about to run off on me?”

“Sorry.” Karolina relaxes her grip on the fabric of Nico’s sleeve—she hadn’t realized she was holding on so tightly that the creases seem permanently etched. “I’m just worried that…who we are will ruin things before it’s even begun. The last date…um, the one in the church…it was nice, but what if…it was some kind of fluke? Or a one-time thing, or…I don’t know. I-I mean just that little kiss—I felt it, Nico. And I…what if it gets worse? I don’t want this to just be about sex, but what if…what if I can’t hold your hand without—without ravaging you in public or something?”

“That’s…quite the word choice,” Nico mumbles, exchanging red-faces.

“I-I don’t want that!”

“Well, if one date isn’t enough evidence for you,” Nico offers a shy smile, “there’s really only one way to find out.”

* * *

Karolina is very good at controlling herself. She’s been honing this skill for years, and, in another world, she should really win an award. Three years of turning down parties, turning down opportunities to go out, seeking opportunities to gracefully walk away—among the Alpha, she might as well have been a nun. She never listened to the others anyway; she was just happy to be herself. Just Karolina. None of that primal monstrosity. None of that aggression. None of that _shame_. Just the Karolina she can live with.

Being an Alpha as never brought anything other than trouble.

So, it’s a weird feeling, she thinks, to be able to sit beside an Omega—and not just _any _Omega—inside a dark room and feel nothing more than the warmth of Nico’s hand on top of hers. Yes, the prickling is there. Maybe either of them could set off at any moment, but it’s strangely…thrilling.

As she sits there, totally oblivious while Nico laughs along to some line a character says on screen, she’s reminded of both the abandoned church and the fragments of her night in Nico’s bed. She turns her palm over and threads her fingers between Nico’s, bubbling with joy when Nico turns to her with a smile. It’s comfortable and it’s intimate, and Karolina wonders if Nico can feel the vibrations of happiness emanating off her body the way she can feel Nico’s.

Maybe, she muses, being an Alpha is more than just being a part of a mating ritual. Maybe she was drawn to Nico because they were meant to find another, to protect each other and learn to exist with the worst parts and the best parts of themselves and each other. So, maybe she wasn’t ready to embrace all of that when she was younger, but now…it feels right.

She wonders if this is what it’s like to have a mate. It’s always been like a myth to her, a rumour with little relevance to her own life. Her mother doesn’t have a mate, so she figures she doesn’t need one either. But Nico—if it’s Nico…

She gazes at Nico’s profile and admires at the way the white light of the screen flashes on her skin. She allows her instinct through the walls she built over the years, and leans forward, heart racing at the unfamiliarity of it all, to nip her lightly at exposed shoulder. Nico’s breath hitches.

“What are you doing?” Nico whispers.

“Just thinking. And feeling. And being happy.”

Nico shakes her head, smiling. “Watch the movie, you dummy.”

Karolina, however, leans in instead, and drops her voice by Nico’s ear. “How are you feeling?”

“Like a horny teenager,” Nico replies evenly. “It’s manageable. Unless _you_ can’t figure out how to keep your hands and teeth to yourself,” she adds with a smirk.

Karolina flushes. A flirty comment sits on her tongue—she douses the flame and just grins. When Nico grins back, the shame disappears, so quickly and suddenly and easily that Karolina doesn’t notice. A small part of her brain is already thinking about how easy it would be to cut that control loosely tethered between them. Mostly, however, she’s thinking about Nico and how much she loves holding her hand. 

She tightens her fingers around Nico’s and, a moment later, she feels the way Nico’s body exhales and relaxes into her chair, happy contentment burning strong as she is absorbed back into the film.

Not everything will be this easy, Karolina muses, but she wouldn’t trade this for anything else.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, the dates continue with higher and higher frequency. Lunches and dinners, libraries and coffee shops, park benches and ice cream—it’s simple, more practical than it is romantic as exams approach, but they fall into a kind of rhythm where they learn to breathe beside each other. There are shoulder touches and brief kisses and hands held beneath table tops, and some days are easier than others, but they learn the cadences of their own bodies and they learn to adapt. They learn to maneuver around their deepest animal desires and grow their affection and trust for one another, like two careful lions sharing a ring of fire.

It’s a silent agreement that they remain as platonic as they can, despite the undeniable magnetism between them. Nico, almost sure that all of this will fall apart if they allow themselves to escalate, has been dreading the flame on her calendar since the beginning. Thankfully, as they’re sitting across each other on Nico’s floor with textbooks in their laps, it’s still a week away.

So, really, she didn’t expect Karolina to be the one to ask, “What would happen if we sleep together while you’re not in heat?”

Nico, in the midst of highlighting something on the page, pushes a solid yellow line off the page in shock.

“You’re joking.”

“No, why would I joke about this? I just think that I…well, I really care about you, and I…want us to be a normal couple. Normal couples don’t have sex once a month. I think.” Karolina flushes and drops her eyes, teeth tugging her lower lip. “At least, not if they feel the way I feel about their partners.”

Nico chews on the inside of her cheek—tucks that quiet confession into the back of her mind for now as she tries to maintain some semblance of calm. “I don’t know… What if it messes up with the heat cycle and it just gets addictive or something?”

“Okay, but,”—there is a sudden gleam in Karolina’s eyes as they meet Nico’s once more—“what if it turns out that we can actually be in control of our bodies because you won’t be…you know.”

“In heat?” Nico raises her brow. “You can say it, you know. If you’re too afraid to say the word, how are you expecting to do this?” Her tone comes out a little sharper than intended, and she dips her head slightly, hoping Karolina will understand. Hoping that Karolina will not back down from something that she, too, has foolishly wondered on multiple occasions.

Karolina does not disappoint.

“Like this.”

She lunges forward, dropping everything, and grabs Nico by the face to meet her in a searing kiss. She runs her tongue along her bottom lip, her hands roaming up to tug at Nico’s collar. It lasts only moments before Karolina pulls away with flushed cheeks. “Still with me?” She asks with a glazed look in her eyes.

Nico tips her head. “Barely.”

“Good.”

The next kiss is soft—slow. Achingly slow. Nico drops the book in her lap and pushes against Karolina, her fingers pressing into the tanned skin of her arm.

“Easy,” Karolina murmurs, pulling back when Nico starts to get a little too impatient.

“No,” Nico frowns. “I want your—”

“Nico! Unless you’re about to ask for my apple pie recipe, _please_ don’t finish that sentence.”

Nico blinks and tilts her head.

“Please, Nico. I just want to be able to make love to you without blacking out and worrying about how much I hurt you. Can we just…try doing this slowly?” Karolina tucks a stray strand of hair behind Nico’s ear, and for a moment, there is only calm. Like clockwork, Nico leans against her touch. She exhales.

Karolina leans forward once more and brushes her lips against her cheek. She’s warm. Steady. Clear. It’s almost impossible to dissociate Karolina’s touch with fragments of nights prior, but Nico closes her eyes. She wants to do this—she really does, she thinks as she focuses on Karolina’s bright, blue eyes.

And yet, one thing suddenly becomes clear—even if the Omega can be wrangled into submission, her impatience can’t.

Karolina squeaks when Nico suddenly grabs her by the shoulder and rolls her to the side—she straddles her hips and kisses her before she can complain. “Maybe slow isn’t our style,” Nico says with a self-satisfied smirk when she pulls away.

“And maybe,” she continues as she pulls Karolina’s tank top over her head, leaving her in only a lavender-coloured bra, “_you_ don’t want to go slow either.”

“Nico,” Karolina groans, “what if—”

“Karolina?” Nico says, running a hand down her chest. “Stop talking.”

Karolina flushes. “But—”

“Have you ever considered,” Nico murmurs as she leans down to run her tongue along her jaw—Karolina immediately shut her eyes, willing herself not to remember the last time she did that, post-bungee-cord-kidnapping. “Maybe, Karolina, I’m just excited to be near _you_. Especially when I get to have you under me like this.”

“Oh my God, Nico,” Karolina mumbles, clapping her hands over her eyes. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Oh, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m perfectly sober right now,” Nico replies with a slight roll of her eyes.

Karolina drops her hands and brings one up to cradle her cheek. “I know,” she sighs, “it’s the scariest, most exciting thing.”

Nico looks away, her head falling slightly as she rests her hands on Karolina’s stomach. “You know,” she says quietly, drawing small circles with her thumb. “I’ve been thinking about something for a while.”

Karolina shivered. “W-what is it?”

“We’re both…hanging on right now, aren’t we? I mean, the last two times…you wouldn’t even be able to argue with me right now. And it’s like…on our dates, there’s that _feeling_ but mostly, we’re just…normal. I…I think I know why.”

“Yeah? Maybe it’s because you’re not in heat?” Karolina offers with a shrug.

Nico shakes her head.

Her gaze seems to bear right into her soul. “What if it’s because we mated.”

Karolina’s eyes widen.

“I know,” Nico continues hastily as she picks at the belt loop of Karolina’s jean shorts, “I know I said I don’t believe in mates and stuff, but—but what if? I mean, I think…I’m really serious about you too. It would make sense, right?”

Karolina pushes herself up by the elbows and stares up at Nico for so long that Nico begins to fidget. Karolina, however, doesn’t notice—her heart is beating far too many miles per hour, and her blood is rushing. Flushed, alive, wide awake, and yet she can’t tell if she’s in a dream.

“Karolina?” Nico’s voice pierces through her consciousness. “Look, I’m sorry if—”

“Nico, I love you.”

Nico’s hands still, and Karolina immediately covers them with her own, lightly prying their attention away from her belt loops to thread their fingers together. “I don’t know if we’re moving a little fast, but I…I really do. And I’ve…been hoping we are. Mates, I mean.”

“Yeah?” Nico says, flashing a shy smile. “Well, we’re both still here, mostly sober even though that bra makes your boobs look _really _great. So, um, yeah, maybe we are. Mates, I mean.”

Karolina smiles back, her heart fluttering as she tries to focus on the happiness of finding their destiny together, instead of the disappointment of not hearing her confession echoed back. Relax, she tells herself, maybe Nico just needs time.

What if being mates doesn’t necessarily mean you both have to be in love? Maybe you just have to trust. Maybe—

Her thoughts are cut short when Nico wiggles out of Karolina’s grasp and snaps the front clasps of her lavender bra open.

“Now, where were we?”

A part of Karolina wants to push her away and continue the conversation, but Nico’s lips on a particularly sensitive pulse point along her neck quashes all coherent thought. She closes her eyes, biting her lip to suppress a moan as she leans into the way Nico moulds her flesh beneath her gentle hands.

The instinctive grind of Nico’s hips against hers is almost too much, but she lays back, embraces the sensations. Nico runs her hands through Karolina’s hair, leaves a trail of kisses along her neck and jaw, with a brief sojourn to nip at her ear, until she settles on her lips. Karolina reaches up to deepen the kiss, but Nico immediately pins her wrists to the floor. Her heart quivers with excitement.

Nico then runs her tongue along her lower lip, and Karolina opens her mouth to let her in, but she pulls back. Blearily, she opens her eyes.

Nico is grinning. “I have something better in mind,” she says.

The room is suddenly cold when Nico rolls off her, but she doesn’t have time to complain when she is dragged along the carpet and angled almost parallel to the bed beside her. Then, fingertips brush against her hips, one hand curling beneath the waist of her jeans, the other pulling down the zipper tooth by tooth, just slow enough to coax a quiet whimper from Karolina’s lips. Quiet as it was, the sound doesn’t escape Nico’s ears.

“You are adorable,” she says, laughing. “How are you doing?”

Their eyes meet as Nico tugs off her jeans, and Karolina feels her whole body flush. “I’m…I’m good,” Karolina mumbles. “Can barely think, but good. I think.”

Nico tosses her jeans onto the bed, settles her palms on Karolina’s thighs, and takes a moment to enjoy the view before her. Karolina is watching her with muted curiosity, her flushed skin and glazed eyes silently begging for more. Nico sucks in a breath.

“Nico?”

Karolina sits up, suddenly awake and alarmed as she brushes a trail of tears from Nico’s cheeks. “Nico, what’s wrong?” she asks, struggling to keep the panic out of her voice.

“Oh,” Nico blinks, “uh, nothing. I’m just…happy, I guess.”

“Happy?” Karolina doesn’t look convinced.

“It’s fine,” Nico says, cradling Karolina’s cheek with a small smile. “I’m fine. I just…feel so, so, so lucky to have you. Seeing you lay here all vulnerable and stuff—yet so trusting, I just…yeah.” She laughs. “This is embarrassing, isn’t it?”

“Of course not,” Karolina says, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “Even if you don’t feel the same way right now, I…I’ll say it as many times as you want to hear it—I love you, Nico. So, of course I trust you.”

Nico blushes—she is silent, pensive as she processes every word. Finally, she releases a breath. “Listen, um, my family…we don’t use that word. Like, ever. We just…do stuff, I guess. To show how we feel. This is kind of embarrassing, but, um, I had hoped that you already knew, and—god, I’m just rambling, aren’t I? Okay, okay.” Nico takes a deep breath, then takes her face in both hands. “Karolina, I…I love you too, and I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t.”

“Really?” Karolina beams.

“Yeah,” Nico giggles. “Obviously. Idiot.”

“Yeah,” Karolina grins, brushing a strand of hair behind Nico’s ear, “I _am_ an idiot. That’s why I need to hear it more often.”

Nico leans forward and flicks her tongue at the tip of her ear. “You’ll hear it when you’ve been good,” she whispers.

Karolina shivers, a groan sending blossoming heat against Nico’s neck. “Nico,” she whines.

Nico laughs softly, then drops a hand to the silky fabric of Karolina’s underwear in reply—she savours the sharp intake of breath at her ear as she presses a finger along the curve. Her finger runs down the length and stops at the center—Karolina wraps her arms around her and hooks her chin over her shoulder, her long legs spreading as she pushes against her. “Nico,” she repeats, her voice quivering with the rest of her body.

“You’re really wet,” Nico teases, dragging her slick finger along her stomach. “Do you want me inside you?”

Karolina, with her face buried in her own folded arms, nods vigorously against Nico’s slim shoulder.

“Say please?”

“Please.”

“Good girl.”

Nico dips her hand into her panties and gives her hardened clit a quick flick with the pad of her finger—Karolina immediately squeezes her, a strangled noise between a moan and a whimper passing through her lips as she pushes for more. Instead, Nico buries two fingers inside first, then presses down on her clit with her thumb. Almost immediately, Karolina closes in around her with a cry.

It takes a few long moments before Karolina returns to her, though she does not lift her head as she clings to Nico for dear life. “N-Nico,” she says unsteadily. “I…it was…too fast, wasn’t it?”

Nico can almost hear the blush in her voice. “Of course not,” she chuckles. “You were perfect.” She sighs into Karolina’s hair and squeezes her playfully. “Thank you.”

Karolina lays her head on Nico’s shoulder, looking up at her sleepily as she wraps herself up in her warmth. “For what?”

“For letting me be in control.”

This time, it’s Karolina’s turn to laugh. “I’ve spent my whole life being so afraid of losing control, losing myself and hurting others. But just now,” she shakes her head, “I didn’t even think about it. Surrendering to you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”

Nico wrinkles her nose. “Cheesy.”

“You love it,” Karolina says lazily, nipping her lightly.

“I don’t mind your aggressive side either,” Nico muses. “The sweet-talking and the choking is an incredibly hot combo.”

Karolina groans. “_Please_ don’t remind me.”

Nico laughs. “We have a lot to figure out, don’t we?”

“Later,” Karolina mumbles, snuggling closer still.

She briefly toys with the idea of offering to reciprocate, but the lull of warmth and Nico’s fingers gently combing through her hair is a new level of intimacy she isn’t quite ready to leave yet. Nico isn’t ready either—she knows. The connection they share thrums with new energy—like heartbeats, alive within the same rhythm. Nico lays back against the bed. Karolina leans into that rhythm, burying herself deeper into Nico’s arms, and, with one last whisper of love between them, starts to fall asleep with the rise and fall of Nico’s steady breaths as her lullaby.

Later, she thinks again just before she drifts off. They’ll plenty of time to explore the possibilities of their destiny.

With the same thought ambling through her mind, Nico kisses the top of her head and smiles.

Plenty of time.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Thank you for reaching the end of this work. Hope you had a mighty good time during your stay. Hey, sorry about the spacing. AO3 seems to have trouble with my Word doc. 
> 
> This is my first ABO fic, and my second deanoru. I confess I'm a bit new to the ABO world, but I was fascinated by the psychological impacts of such a world, so I kind of ran with my ideas of what this concept means. Most of my fics are centered on romance, so I never really expected to write smut again, but when the idea was posed to me, I felt like I had to give it a go. I love the theme of self-defined monstrosity--I feel like, to some degree, we are all navigating parts of ourselves that we don't like/can't fully control, and I wanted to pay homage to that. Of course, sex is also fun. 
> 
> Gosh, I do love deanoru though. 
> 
> If you liked this story, please leave a comment! I'd love to hear your thoughts.


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